We All Pee. What Do Pronouns Have to Do With That?
Does it really matter, as long as we all wash our hands? (📸: Mick Haupt on Unsplash)
“It shouldn’t fall on those with less privilege to clear the path. It’s on those with more privilege to open the space — to make it safe before someone has to ask.”
As the U.S. government shutdown stretches on into week two, policies targeting trans, non-binary, and gender-diverse people continue to multiply. The weight of it is getting harder to ignore.
Every day, I hear from veterinary professionals — students, techs, DVMs — who are scared. Scared of being outed at work where they’ve kept their personal life private. Scared of losing their job because of who they are. Scared because their government is making them feel less safe simply for existing. And honestly? I’m scared for them too. We talk a lot about compassion in vet med, but compassion means nothing if it isn’t backed by courage.
So let’s be clear: if you want your clinic to feel safe and inclusive for everyone — clients, coworkers, students, and yourself — allyship cannot be performative, and it cannot wait for “better timing” or for things to feel “less political.”
Here’s the single most powerful, supportive, immediate action you can take in practice:
👉 Use your pronouns. Use them first. Use them every damn time.
I know. Some folks roll their eyes: “If someone wants me to use a different pronoun, they should just tell me.” Hold up a second — let’s call that what it is: privilege.
If you’ve never had to worry about being misgendered, it’s easy to assume it’s no big deal. But for many trans, nonbinary, and queer folks — and yes, that includes some of your colleagues and clients — asking for their pronouns can feel like gambling with their safety, dignity, or even their jobs. And that gamble has never felt riskier than it does right now. It shouldn’t fall on those with less privilege to clear the path. It’s on those with more privilege to open the space — to make it safe before someone has to ask.
And if that’s not enough to make you pause, let’s be real: the risk isn’t equal for everyone. LGBTQ+ folx who are Black, Indigenous, and People of Color often carry an additional layer of fear when asking for their pronouns to be respected — especially in veterinary spaces that are still overwhelmingly white.
If you’ve read this far and if you’re still wondering why visibility matters, consider this: the same fear that keeps people from sharing pronouns can follow them into something as basic as using the restroom.
I’ve talked with veterinary students and faculty at universities in states that have passed laws requiring people to use washrooms according to the gender listed on their birth certificate. Just sit with that for a second: these are people who show up every day to learn, to teach, to care for animals and clients — to shape the future of our profession — and they’re scared to freaking pee in the place where they’re supposed to belong. Scared to be harassed, reported, or even disciplined for using the restroom that matches who they are. Imagine trying to master anesthesia protocols, balance clinical rotations, or mentor a student while your body is screaming that it’s unsafe to use a basic facility.
That’s what these laws are doing. They’re not protecting anyone — they’re terrorizing people who already carry enough fear, pressure, and visibility on their shoulders. And this is why allyship cannot be passive anymore.
Two weeks ago, I was in a clinic where the restroom signs had been replaced with simple, printed labels: “Restroom — Use the one that makes you comfortable.” They weren’t even gendered washrooms. That single laminated sign stopped me in my tracks. It said what every inclusive space should say: You belong here. You are safe here. No fanfare. No politics. Just a simple, bold statement of humanity.
Using and sharing your pronouns is the verbal equivalent of a rainbow sticker on your door — but with way more substance. It’s a micro-action that builds trust and belonging in a world that’s making belonging feel dangerous again. Because right now, our profession — and our country — need fewer declarations of support and more demonstrations of it. Performative allyship is easy. True allyship takes intention, humility, and repetition.
Using your pronouns proactively is the type of consistent, practical action that separates real allyship from empty gestures. It also signals to your team and clients — especially those who are BIPOC and LGBTQ+ — that you are safe to be themselves and that you’re serious about backing your values with action.
So let’s not overcomplicate it:
Say your pronouns out loud. Add them to your name tag. Model what inclusion looks like for your team, your clients, and your community. And when you mess up? Correct yourself, apologize briefly, and move on. You’d be amazed how many times people tell me that fear is what stops them from doing it. Every pronoun shared, every quiet correction, every intentional conversation adds up. These micro-actions are how we resist erasure — one clinic, one client interaction, one moment of courage at a time.
When rights and dignity are under attack, allyship isn’t just about kindness.
It’s about safety. It’s about visibility.
It’s about choosing to act when silence would be easier.
Because this isn’t just about language.
It’s about lives.
It’s about creating a profession — and a world — where no one has to gamble with their safety just to show up as themselves.
Because in the end, everyone deserves the same simple dignity: to show up, to be seen, to do their work — and yes, to just pee in peace.
💗 Stephanie
PS — Want Some Suggestions for What Proactive Inclusion Could Look Like in Your Clinic?
✅ Normalize sharing pronouns
• Add them to your email signature, business cards, name tags, even your stethoscope tag.
• Introduce yourself with pronouns: “Hi, I’m Dr. Lopez, they/them. How’s Scout today?”
• This signals to clients and coworkers that you see and respect diverse identities.
✅ Offer space, not pressure
Include a pronoun field on forms but never make it mandatory. Let people know it’s welcome but optional.
✅ Train your team
• Host a 15-minute huddle on why pronouns matter.
• Practice scenarios: What do you say if a client misgenders a team member? How do you fix it when you slip up?
• Use LGBTQ+ veterinary resources as part of your team onboarding to build confidence and consistency.
✅ Update your systems
• Intake and HR forms should allow chosen names and pronouns alongside legal names.
• Your PIMS should display pronouns for clients and staff.
✅ Model correction and allyship
• Mess up? Apologize briefly, correct yourself, move on.
• Hear misgendering? Correct gently: “Actually, Dr. Lee uses they/them pronouns.”